This New Yorker Hits the Road, Part II by: Matthew Sheahan My favorite stop in Milwaukee, however, was the mysterious Safe House. The Safe House is in one of the city’s oldest buildings and has served as a speakeasy and jazz club in years past. It’s been The Safe House since 1966 and hasn’t franchised out, thank goodness. The Safe House appears from the outside to be International Exports, Ltd., and when you arrive, your typical exchange with the sunglasses-wearing bouncer may go as follows: Bouncer: “Good evening, how are you?” Customer: “Good, how are you?” Bouncer: “That’s classified.” The bouncer checks ID, collects a $1 cover (or “spy processing fee) if it’s a weekday, stamps your hand, and then asks you if you know the password. If you know the password, he presses a button on a telephone switchboard and a bookcase slides away to reveal a hallway and you’re allowed in. If you don’t know the password, you are required to perform a humorous and/or humiliating task prior to entering. To add to the fun, hidden cameras broadcast the goings on to the entire Safe House. I once watched as a young woman had to don a giant cowboy hat and ride on her male companion’s back as if in a rodeo. Luckily my own intelligence operations were sound enough and I knew the password. The Safe House has secret passageways, a revolving booth that disappears into a wall, and a multitude of other humorous features that make it a lot of fun to drink in. My first visit to The Safe House, there was a magician tending the sidebar. He did some standard magic tricks and then showed us where how to leave through a secret passageway, where he said the ghost of Sidney Bechet lived. I went through there later on and I didn’t see the spirit of the great jazz man, which leads me to believe that the phantasm lives Paris, where Bechet felt most at home. I spent the bulk of my last night in Milwaukee drinking at the Safe House. Home FAQ Virtual Safe House Company Store Contacts Top