This is Milwaukee?

By Janice Chavers
Senior Writer
The Herald Bulletin, Indiana
October 2, 1996

On the dining scene, you can pretend that you are a spy, dine like a king or take a culinary trip around the world.

The most well-known Milwaukee restaurant/night spot is the 30-year-old Safe House, which is unlike any place else you ever have seen. It will confuse and amuse you.

You first become confused when you can't find the restaurant's sign at 779 N. Front St.; instead a sign says "International Exports Ltd." But you are at the right spot. After all, would the safe house be "safe" for spies if the name was on the outside?

When you enter the restaurant, you're confused again and wonder if you've made a mistake. You're in a small room, with a large bookshelf on one side. You wonder: Where's the bar? Where's the food? Where did everybody go?

Suddenly, from the corner, Miss Moneypenny approaches you, demanding the password. If you don't know it (and I'm not telling), you must pass the spy test, which differs according to the whims of Miss Moneypenny. You may have to do the hula hoop or the cancan or act like a cheerleader, much to the amusement of the people inside who are watching you on video.

Even celebrity visitors must play the game. Recent visitors, the Goo Goo Dolls, had to obey Miss Moneypenny. A frequent visitor when he's in town, David Copperfield knows the password.

No matter how embarrassing the spy test is, you'll want to comply. Seeing this gem is worth a little humiliation.

The walls are packed with spy memorabilia and celebrity photos. There also are a variety of fortune telling, video and other novelty machines.

One favorite attraction is the alibi phone booth, where for an extra quarter, you can have the sound of your choice in the background. The 99 choices include college cheers, crickets, fire sirens and gun shots.

"One real CIA agent likes to call his office with gunshots in the backgrounds," said Omar Andrietsch, manager.

Among other oddities to note:

• The world's largest mechanical wall puzzle.
• The interrogation room.
• The fake men's restroom.
• The Burt Reynolds in the buff poster in the women's restroom. (Touch it if you dare.)
• The escape route - It's great when you want to dump a date.
• The two Mata Hari outposts in the women's restroom - see what your boyfriend does when you're not looking.

The Safe House also offers music, a magician bar, comedy - and yes, food and spirits. Some of the latter are quite potent. For example, there are Spy's Demise, Golden Eye, The Silencer and Double Agent.

Reservations are suggested, particularly when there are festivals or other major events, such as Bucks and Brewers games. For the most fun, evenings are best. Other must-eats and must-drinks in the Milwaukee area include:

Mimma's Cafe - Located on a revitalized Brady Street, the restaurant features authentic Italian food. This is not an ordinary spaghetti and meatballs type of place. Instead, there are delicious authentic foods representing different regions of Italy.

The restaurant is owned by the incredible Mimma Megna, who immigrated from Sicily with virtually nothing. After working hard and running several successful and not-so-successful businesses with her husband, she opened Mimma's at a time when the area was full of gangs and drug dealers. With her initiative, Brady Street now is one of the trendiest areas in town with a variety of shops and night spots. Mimma now stays busy seven days a week at the restaurant, as well as raising money for any cause that needs her.

Watts Tearoom - Located in George Watts & Son Inc. at 761 N. Jefferson St., this is the real Milwaukee, according to owner George Watts.

The tearoom is located upstairs in Watt's, which has served Milwaukee's china and collectibles customers for 126 years. There are more than 300,000 different pieces of china, Watts said proudly. Watts also is pleased by the tearoom's tradition of making food fresh daily.

One must-eat is Sunshine Cake, which was created in 1902. The chicken salad and broth also are scrumptious.

Le Peep - The place to go for breakfast in Milwaukee, Le Peep has one of the most diverse pancake, French toast, fruit and cereal breakfast menus that you'll ever see. The restaurant is located at both 250 E. Wisconsin Ave. and 3900 W. Brown Deer Road.

Frozen custard stands - Practically everyone in Milwaukee has eaten this creamy treat, which also is known as French ice cream, for years. People often will call their favorite spot to see which flavors are being offered. Some places even have a flavor hotline.

To explain the taste, one worker said low-fat yogurt is on one side of the spectrum, with ice cream in the middle, and frozen custard way on the other side. "It's way intense," he said of the dairy product that is rich in egg yolks and heavy cream.

Just one of a zillion flavors is Grand Marnier Blueberry Crisp, which features real liqueur with blueberries, coated pecans and French pastry.

Gil's - One of many popular laid-back coffee shops in the area, it's located on Downer Avenue. Be sure to go down the street to the Breadsmith for a slice of homemade bread. Your nose will lead you there.

Brew pubs - All over Milwaukee, there are brew pubs, which are pubs or restaurants that brew their own beer on the premises. For a brochure listing pubs and breweries, call 1-800-231-0903. Brewery tour information also is included. Water Street - Many bars are located here, each with its own niche. Just a few specialize in cigars, barbecue, sports and Irish pub style.

Lake Park Bistro - The restaurant, located in one of the city's 21 public parks, is known for good service and excellent food.